Tuesday, September 8, 2009, THE WEDDING

BLOG POST, Tuesday, September 8, 2009, THE WEDDING

The wedding on Saturday, September 5, is difficult to describe; elaborate, tasteful, expensive, exciting, beyond our usual wedding in Canada. My description is totally inadequate and without any knowledge of the local customs and their reasons.

The bride, Rose’s cousin, Maryana Ohinok, 26, was marrying Yuri Fedor, 30. Both are professors at a University in Lviv, Maryana in International Law, and Yuri in International Commerce.

The morning started with us all going to the market, that place of shacks with everything you might want to buy. Rose’s luggage had still not arrived, and the airline agent suggested she buy the best dress she could find for the wedding. We did not have time to go to Lviv where we could have made the airline pay dearly and made Rose very happy. She found an acceptable dress for 500 hrenya, about CAD$ 50, but not as nice as the one we had brought from Canada. We were also looking for an airline carry-on bag for with rollers. Those long walks in airports can make carrying a carry-on a bind. There were excellent ones in London airport for US$ 250-350, but we could not see ourselves paying that much, yet.

At noon we all walked about km to the Ohinok home, where the negotiation took place. A tradition in Ukraine is that the bride is ‘sold’ to the ‘groom’. The home was a three story show home, immaculate in the midst of the dilapidated urban infrastructure of Gorodek (mostly narrow, unpaved, potholed streets with curbs made from pieces of old curbs from other places). The Ohinoks claim to have spent US$ 100,000 remodeling, and it was a piece of art: blond hardwood floors, sculpted centre carpets, the finest solid wood moldings, furniture, and cabinets; double glazed dual action PVC windows throughout (but ironically no bug screens), designer lighting with ‘shining stars’ in the ceiling, plasma TVs, and computer room. Bathrooms were tiled top to bottom, plumbing complete with bidets, oval spa tub, and the best taps. Both the inside and outside were newly painted. The driveway and a walkway around the outside of the house had been done in paving stones. The fence was like our gated community fences, with concrete bases and steel/concrete panels.

Soon after we arrived at the Ohinoks, in light rain, some of us with umbrellas, the groom arrived in a cavalcade of modern (most cars here, when people have them, are clunkers) honking cars. The scene was quite a spectacle. A hoop of balloons had been arranged over the two car metal gate, which was open, and set with a small table of snacks, special breads, and vodka. The traditional bartering went on for at least an hour, amidst the intermittent light rain, drinking, snacking and revelry of the game. The bride was being ‘sold’ by her sister Solomina (stunningly dressed and who could easily have won the Miss World Contest), and cousin, Max.

The bride, Maryana, was inside the house in a spectacular designer (that is uniquely designed) satin dress, in the image of a calla lily. The blossom of the calla lily came from the breast to the waste. The dress then flowed down in an A line to a hoop at the bottom. The veil had a matching satin border. The hairdo and makeup were movie star style. The bride, spirited away in that amazing remodeled home, was well worth the long bartering session. After the bartering was complete everyone went inside (even though we all wiped our feet, the carpets still were getting dirty) for champagne, vodka, cognac and snacks. All of the activity was choreographed, videoed and photographed by a professional crew with the best equipment.

Following the sale of the bride, the wedding attendees went in hired buses and cars to a local Ukrainian Catholic church, were another spectacle took place. The bridge and groom were escorted through a ‘tunnel’ of 10 traditional ‘towels’ decorated in colorful Ukrainian cross stitch, and held by members of the wedding party. Inside the church the ceremony conducted by the priests was equally elaborate and demonstratively supported by envelopes from the groom and bride’s father, and a collection amoung the standing guests. The priest that married Maryana and Yuri was the same priest who baptized her and who married Maryana’s parents, Bill and Nadia Ohinok.

After the church wedding we were bussed and other guests drove about 25kms west of Gorodek to a classy hotel for a banquet for 160. When we arrived the banquet room was splendid. The tables were all set, FILLED with the first course, several different plates of food: caviar on crackers, fish salad in the forms of fish, slices of ham and other meats, breads, pickles, vegetable salads, red peppers cut in quarters in the shape of a boat, stuffed with cream cheeses, and finished with a sail made out of thinly sliced cucumber on a toothpick, and more. Each table also had several beverages: red and white wines, champagne, vodka, cognac, and bottles of mineral water. Chairs were covered in satin. The head table was similar with a backdrop of draped netting and satin interspersed with small lights.

We all waited outside for another hour for the wedding party to arrive. Thankfully the sun was now shining. Then another ‘tunnel’ of Ukrainian ‘towels’ was set up to welcome them into the hotel. They stopped at the entrance where a small table of snacks and bread was set and around which another ceremony took place. Once inside the bride and groom received the guests, most with wedding cards filled with money, and many with flowers. In fact there were so many flowers that two days later when we visited the bride’s family again, the oval spa tub was filled with long stem roses.

The entire day, from noon to 3am, was led by a group of internationally known Ukrainian singers, dancers and musicians. It would take another page to describe their enthusiastic songs, performances and dancing. They were responsible for maintaining a continual celebratory mood to the day and they succeeded admirably. We left about midnight to the disappointment of our cousins. Our explanation that we were older than most people there, and tired, did not satisfy them. Despite promises of a bus coming to take us back to Gorodek, it did not arrive, and another cousin ordered and would not allow us to pay for a taxi to take us back.

We slept until 10 am the next day. Monday we had lunch with the Ohinoks, who had not returned home until 5am, Sunday and then had to spend the rest of the day returning items loaned and provided by friends and family. This was our first opportunity to visit them.
Monday evening we had dinner with another cousin Leshya and Jaroslaw Majola and family. They, and our hosts, the Murmils and Burdas, are clearly not as well off as the Ohinoks. The Mazola’s daughter, Oksana and her husband, Tura, a local fireman, and two boys 1 and 3, live with the Majola. During dinner Oksana, dressed in her good clothes, left to go outside to the small barn filled with 3 pigs, several chickens, and a goat which she milked for the children’s bottles.
Bill Ohinok, who has one of the few cars able to transport us, took and there and came back for us at 9:30. We showed the family the DVD which I had made of our 2003 visit, and pictures both Rose and I, and Mike and Lillian had taken since our arrival, including the wedding. We arrived home at 11:00 pm.

Plans are in place for Bill Ohonok to drive us, tomorrow, Wednesday, September 9 to Jaroslaw, Southeast Poland to visit Rose’s father’s family, the Pietruchas.